Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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