Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
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i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
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Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.