...so i touched it.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
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There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
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I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!