you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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