i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
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She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
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I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.