hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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