Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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