U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize