just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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