you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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