dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
