It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
