I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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