So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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