I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
