Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Is it penis luge time yet?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
