Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
