My room smells like vodka and shame
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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