I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
