lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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