I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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