after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
