She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
