Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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