SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
