Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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