Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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