Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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