Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
