I think my fart just growled at me.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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