in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
