Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
