now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
