good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
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I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
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I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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