I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i think i have two assholes
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
