she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
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I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
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Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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