her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize