Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
