You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
bring money and cleavage
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
