It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
