I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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