Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
