If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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