She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Randomize
