Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
