this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
