If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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