so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
