My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
