I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
