Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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