Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Still dying that you shit outside
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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