He disabled his match.com account in front of me
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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