OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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