i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
