i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
