Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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