dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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