Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
