I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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